0550 – The Correct Number of Bicycles to Own

Rule # 12 The correction number of bicycles to own is n+1.  

Order this thru Zazzle

0476 – Fuck Off! It’s My Lane Too

Fuck Off! It’s My Lane Too But to say that the race is the metaphor for the life is to miss the point. The race is everything. It obliterates whatever isn’t racing. Life is the metaphor for the race. – Donald Antrim

Order this thru Zazzle

0422 – Bicycle City – Bicycle Country

The bicycle is ergonomically tailored to the human form and psyche, yet I wonder if a hithero ‘undiscovered’ native tribe, when presented with a bicycle, would ever be able to determine what on earth it was for. – Borin Van Loon

Order this thru Zazzle

0567 – Velorution

Velorution But I pushed and pulled in vain, the wheels would not turn. It was as though the brakes were jammed, and heaven knows they were not, for my bicycle had no brakes. And suddenly overcome by a great weariness, in spite of the dying day when I always felt most alive, I threw the […]

Order this thru Zazzle

Tags: , ,

0070 – Ride Bicycles

Ride Bikes Now I walk every where I can. I also ride a stationary bicycle for a total of 30 minutes. I do it three or more times a week now and I have lost 20 pounds. – Della Reese  

Order this thru Zazzle

0331 – #cycling

#CYCLING Ned Flanders: “You were bicycling two abreast?” Homer Simpson: “I wish. We were bicycling to a lake.”

Order this thru Zazzle

0171 – Bicycle Race

If you ride you know those moments when you have fed yourself into the traffic, felt the hashed-up asphalt rattle in the handlebars, held a lungful of air in a cloud of exhaust. Up ahead there are two parallel buses. With cat’s whiskers, you measure the clearance down a doubtful alley. You swing wide, outflank […]

Order this thru Zazzle

Tags: ,

0618 – Pedal Hard

Cadence: The (hopefully smooth) rhythm of the crank arms (which attach pedals to bike) when pedaling –commonly called spinning.

Order this thru Zazzle

0026 – Make Your Own Path

Make Your Own Path Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit. – Billy Connolly

Order this thru Zazzle

0021 – Change Your Perspective

Change Your Perspective Ride A Bike One of the most important days of my life was when I learned to ride a bicycle. – Michael Palin

Order this thru Zazzle

0248 – Bicycle inside Chainring

When my legs hurt, I say: “Shut up legs! Do what I tell you to do! – Jens Voigt

Order this thru Zazzle

0328 – Happy Bicycle Parts

When the spirits are low, when the day appears dark, when work becomes monotonous, when hope hardly seems worth having, just mount a bicycle and go out for a spin down the road, without thought on anything but the ride you are taking. – Sherlock Holmes

Order this thru Zazzle

0565 – Safety First

There is beauty in silence and there is silence in beauty and you can find both in a bicycle! – Mehmet Murat ildan

Order this thru Zazzle

0222 Bicycle Idea

To prepare for a race there is nothing better than a good pheasant, some champagne and a woman. – Jacques Anquetil

Order this thru Zazzle

0285 – Bicycle inside of Cog

Predawn ride, I pass my neighbor on a run. “Why are you riding a bike?” he asks. “Running gets you in shape faster.” It’s not about that. It’s about how riding makes me feel. The speed. Leaning into gentle curves. Charging up hills. How strong my legs feel. Riding gets me fit. But that’s just […]

Order this thru Zazzle

0288 – Drug of Choice

Drug of Choice People like to travel: that is why the grass is greener over the fence. We are walkers,  our natural means of travel is to put one foot in front of the other. The bicycle seduces our basic nature by making walking exciting. It lets us take 10-foot strides at 160 paces a […]

Order this thru Zazzle

0243 – Cities are Built for People

Cities and build for cities, not cars! Consider a man riding a bicycle. Whoever he is, we can say three things about him. – William Golding

Order this thru Zazzle

Cogs in the Mountain

Boredom greases the cogs in the machinery of marvels. Oh, God, will you be bored. The three days waiting for an Indonesian bureaucrat to issue you a travel permit; the rock slide in Costa Rica that caused a twenty-three-hour traffic jam; the five-day wait for the Congo River passenger barge; the eight sweaty hours spent […]

Order this thru Zazzle

0393 – Slow Bicycle Society

Slow Bicycle Society Is it not time we stopped riding our bikes and began to drive them? Similarly, who ever drove a car? We ride them. Words Matter. – Andrew Shrimpton

Order this thru Zazzle

0649 – Ride Hard

Ride Hard turn: A turn is a rider sharing the workload on a pace line “he took a turn” or “he is doing a lot of turns on the front”. Missing turns can be expressed thus “he has missed a few turns now and has stopped working”. In a breakaway the riders expect to share […]

Order this thru Zazzle

0124 – Bicycle Doctor

Tens of thousands who could never afford to own, feed and stable a horse, had by this bright invention enjoyed the swiftness of motion which is perhaps the most fascinating feature of material life. – Frances Willard

Order this thru Zazzle

0066 – I (heart) my Bike

I Love my Bike But 17 years ago, I arrived at CNN with a suitcase, with my bicycle, and with about 100 dollars. – Christiane Amanpour

Order this thru Zazzle

Tags: ,

0190 – Chainring and Fist

Bikes have wheels – Noam Chomsky

Order this thru Zazzle

0179 – Ride

Ride Give me good books, good conversations, and my Trek Y-Foil, and I shall want for nothing else. – George Plimpton

Order this thru Zazzle

0561 – Ride with Me

Take a Ride with Me I’d rather ride two unicycles at the same time than one bicycle twice – Jarod Kintz

Order this thru Zazzle

0541 – Ride

I picked my head up during an interval and saw an enormous ostrich zigzagging in the road. I swung wide to get by – and just as I did he started chasing me. These guys can motor. I had to sprint to drop him. – Tyler Hamilton

Order this thru Zazzle

0646 – Ride Forever

Ride Forever stayer: A cyclist that excels at maintaining high speed on a relatively flat course alone. The stayer, climber and sprinter make up the three types of mass start road racing specialists. The stayer is some times referred to as a time trial-ist, since the qualities of one and the other are similar. Since […]

Order this thru Zazzle

0615 – Female Cyclist

Saddle sores: A chamois can only do so much to ward off leg-to-seat chaffing. The up-and-down pedaling may bestow sores in the nether-regions — a true pain in the butt.

Order this thru Zazzle

0330 – Happy Birthday Bicycle

Commuting by bicycle is an absolutely essential part of my day. It’s mind-clearing, invigorating. I get to go out and pedal through the countryside in the early morning hours, and see life come back and rejuvenate every day as the sun is coming out. – James L. Jones

Order this thru Zazzle

0429 – Bicycle and the Heart

It’s the first machine we master as children and the one we abandon when the seductions of the automobile take over. – Colman Mc Cartly

Order this thru Zazzle

0154 – Bicycle Forever

Forever If we all, mountain bikers, cyclists, multinational companies, Jo Public, respected the land like old civilizations we wouldn’t get so many punctures. Earth’s revenge. – Jo Burt

Order this thru Zazzle

Tags: ,

0233 – Chain Links

Smooth, predictable riding when you’re in a group isn’t just a matter of style. It’s survival. – Geoff Drake

Order this thru Zazzle

0201 – Bike Fest

Bicycle Fest When I go biking I am mentally far far away from civilization. The world is breaking someone else’s heart. – Diane Ackerman

Order this thru Zazzle

0515 – Good Mood

You are only one bicycle ride away from a good mood. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. – Emo Philips

Order this thru Zazzle

0277 – Bicycle Anarchy

A mountain bike is like your buddy. A road bike is your lover. – Sean Coffey

Order this thru Zazzle

0205 – Bicycle Nomenclature

I relax by taking my bicycle apart and putting it back together again. – Michelle Pfeiffer

Order this thru Zazzle

0214 – Bike to Work – Bke to Play

Bicycle to Work Bicycle to Play Bicycle Tomorrow Bicycle Today!

Order this thru Zazzle

0225 – Life is Short

Life is Short. Buy The Damn Bicycle!

Order this thru Zazzle

0075 – Bicycle Chain Medic

Traffic in the streets of Bombay is chaotic at best. Riding a bicycle is a dangerous occupation. However, there are hundreds of them on the streets competing with the cars and buses and lorries because it is the poor man’s mode of transport. – Rohinton Mistry

Order this thru Zazzle

0343 – I Like To Ride Bikes

I like to ride bicycles Your bicycle helps you meet other people. Your bicycle always goes where you want to go. And if you buy your bicycle a box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day, you get to eat them all. – Scott Martin

Order this thru Zazzle

0523 – Race Bicycle

Race Bicycle Mankind has invested more than four million years of evolution in the attempt to avoid physical exertion. Now a group of backward-thinking atavists mounted on foot-powered pairs of Hula-Hoops would have us pumping our legs, gritting our teeth, and searing our lungs as though we were being chased across the Pleistocene savanna by […]

Order this thru Zazzle

0161 – Bicycle in Your Heart

The sound of a car door opening in front of you is similar to the sound of a gun being cocked. – Amy Webster

Order this thru Zazzle

0216 – Bike Walk

Bike Walk What’s with these recumbent bicycles? Listen, buddy, if you wanna take a nap, lie down. If you wanna ride a bike, buy a bicycle. – George Carlin

Order this thru Zazzle

0024 – Beach Bike

A healthy body means a healthy mind. You get your heart rate up, and you get the blood flowing through your body to your brain. Look at Albert Einstein. He rode a bicycle. He was also an early student of Jazzercise. You never saw Einstein lift his shirt, but he had a six-pack under there. […]

Order this thru Zazzle

0569 – Weight Weenie

Weight Weenie I hit a car, but it wasn’t my fault. The bicyclist who rear ended me is to blame. – Jarod Kintz

Order this thru Zazzle

0528 – Ride in Circles

Ride You not bike rider, you nobody. – Eddie B

Order this thru Zazzle

0406 – Swim Bike Run

Swim Bike Run Cleaning a bike’s like cleaning a toilet. If you do it regularly, it’s fine and easy. If you wait, it’s a truly disgusting experience. – Steve Gravenites

Order this thru Zazzle

0325 – Mend Your Fuelish Ways

Mend Your Fuelish Ways If were not a man, I would like to be a bird. As I am a man, I do the next best thing, and ride a bicycle. – Rev. Maltie

Order this thru Zazzle

0256 – Country Ride

Country Ride A bicycle ride around the world begins with a single pedal stroke. – Scott Stoll

Order this thru Zazzle

0096 – Tri Harder

Tri When we were working on ‘Looking’ in San Francisco, I bought a new bike from Mission Bicycle Company, which I’m completely in love with. – Murray Bartlett

Order this thru Zazzle

0555 – Slipstreaming

Slipstreaming The process whereby a rider reduces their wind resistance by sheltering behind another rider.

Order this thru Zazzle

0336 – Improve Your Day

How To Improve Your Day Step 1 : Ride Your Bicycle Step 2 : Repeat Step 1

Order this thru Zazzle

0533 – Ride Bicycle Company

Ride Bicycle Company To be a cyclist is to be a student of pain….at cycling’s core lies pain, hard and bitter as the pit inside a juicy peach. It doesn’t matter if you’re sprinting for an Olympic medal, a town sign, a trailhead, or the rest stop with the homemade brownies. If you never confront […]

Order this thru Zazzle

0545 – Ride Your Bicycle

Ride Your Bicycle My favorite courses are nasty, technical downhills that frighten my mom. – Josh Ivey

Order this thru Zazzle

0027 – Bicycle in the Grass

The bicycle, the bicycle surely, should always be the vehicle of novelists and poets. – Christopher Morley

Order this thru Zazzle

0403 – Bike Lover

Bike Lover Life may not be about your bike, but it sure can help you get through it. – Hallman

Order this thru Zazzle

0298 – Want Something

Want Something Will Find A Way; Consider a man riding a bicycle. Whoever he is, we can say three things about him. We know he got on the bicycle and started to move. We know that at some point he will stop and get off. Most important of all, we know that if at any […]

Order this thru Zazzle

0539 – Ride the Matrix

Ride He’s dancing on the pedals in an immodest way! – Phil Liggett

Order this thru Zazzle

0583 – Look for Cyclists

Look for Cyclists Off the bike she was like a smoker without cigarettes, never sure what to do with her hands. As soon as she got off the bike, her heart was expected to perform all these baffling secondary functions like loving someone and feeling something and belonging somewhere – when all she’d ever trained […]

Order this thru Zazzle

0457 – Life

For all their fearlessness, sprinters are a delicate breed. At the peak of form they effuse an aura of invincibility, suggesting no bicycle rider ever pedaled as fast. To win, sprinters must have everything: physical condition, confidence, luck, aggression and committed team support. An elusive combination, attainable but not sustainable. – David Walsh

Order this thru Zazzle

0305 – Good

I never want to abandon my bike. I see my grandfather, now in his seventies and riding around everywhere. To me that is beautiful. And the bike must always remain a part of my life. – Stephen Roche

Order this thru Zazzle

0635 – Ride Bicycle Company

Ride Bicycles Company chain suck: The tendency of a chain to stick to chain rings and be sucked up into the bike instead of coming off the chainring. Primarily caused by worn chainrings and rust on small chain rings, under high loads, and in dirty conditions

Order this thru Zazzle

0270 – Cycling Family

Cycling Family A raggedy ride beats a dressed up walk. – Simon Peat

Order this thru Zazzle

0276 – Energy Savings Drafting Formation

It’s the first machine we master as children and the one we abandon when the seductions of the automobile take over. – Colman Mc Cartly

Order this thru Zazzle

0535 – Ride Bikes

Ride Bicycles Winning never gets repetitive – Mat “Cashmoney” Glaser

Order this thru Zazzle

0473 – Fat Tyres

If you worried about falling off the bike, you’d never get on. – Lance Armstrong

Order this thru Zazzle

Tags: ,

0091 – P(ride)

When I was in New York, I took my bike everywhere for transportation. I didn’t have a fixed-gear bicycle, like a lot of the messengers do, but I had a stripped-down deal – having lost a few good ones in New York – and I did 10 to 15 miles a day just getting around […]

Order this thru Zazzle

0409 – Bicycle Highway 1

Hey diddle, diddle The bicycle riddle The strangest part of the deal. Just keep your accounts And add the amounts The ‘sundries’ cost more than the wheel

Order this thru Zazzle

0184 – Bicycle Security

Security Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to cycle and he will realize fishing is stupid and boring. – Desmond Tutu

Order this thru Zazzle

0268 – Bicycle City – Bicycle Country

When you’re turning the crankset, you’re riding the bike. When you’re coasting, you’re just along for the ride. – Ned Overend

Order this thru Zazzle

Tags: ,

0219 – Chainring Medic

Bones Heal Chicks Dig Scars Pain is Temporary Glory is Forever. – Patrick Aanstoots

Order this thru Zazzle

058 – Live to Ride – Ride to Live

Live to Ride Ride to Live Should I take off my helmet before I make love? I’d better not, because my bicycle’s breaks are worn out. – Jarod Kintz

Order this thru Zazzle

0301 – Food and Exercise

Food is the most abused anxiety drug. Exercise is the most underutilized antidepressant. The gross and net result of it is that people who spent most of their natural lives riding iron bicycles over the rocky roadsteads of this parish get their personalities mixed up with the personalities of their bicycle as a result of […]

Order this thru Zazzle

0057 – Lady Cyclist

It was close to like a 67- or 70-day shoot for ‘Tron’ on stage, in the suit. You can’t even sit down during the day because of all the cables that divide the foam rubber and all the electrical circuits. We had these stools that were tall with a bicycle seat on them and you’re […]

Order this thru Zazzle

Tags: ,

0108 – C is for Cycling

Cycling The journey of life is like a man riding a bicycle. We know he got on the bicycle and started to move. We know that at some point he will stop and get off. We know that if he stops moving and does not get off he will fall off. – William G. Golding

Order this thru Zazzle

0354 – Wheel of Jesus

When I’m riding my bicycle I feel like a Buddhist who is happy just to enjoy his mundane existence. – Robin Williams

Order this thru Zazzle

0224 – Burn Fat not Oil

Burn Fat Not Oil Too often I would hear men boast of the miles covered that day, rarely of what they had seen. – Louis L’Amour

Order this thru Zazzle

0260 – Bicycle Fist

Brains before beauty, wear your helmet! – Unknown

Order this thru Zazzle

0232 – Chain Breaker

Chain Breaker She who succeeds in gaining the master of the bicycle will gain the mastery of life. – Frances E. Willard

Order this thru Zazzle

0356 – Just Cruise

So these three cyclist go out for a late-fall training ride. They’re hammering along when suddenly they hit a spot of black ice and fly off a cliff. When the first cyclist opens his eyes, and angel is standing before him. “Who do you wish to be?” asks the angel. “Huh?” says the cyclist. “Look, […]

Order this thru Zazzle

Tags: ,

0320 – Heart of Cogs

The reward for riding up hill, is the fun of riding down them. – Unknown

Order this thru Zazzle

0237 – Bicycle Chain Link

Smooth, predictable riding when you’re in a group isn’t just a matter of style. It’s survival. – Geoff Drake

Order this thru Zazzle

0007 – No Bicycles – Whatever

Whatever The city needs a car like a fish needs a bicycle. – Dean Kamen

Order this thru Zazzle

0469 – Love the Bicycle

Don’t Love the Brand, Love the Bicycle. To be a cyclist is to be a student of pain…. at cycling’s core lies pain, hard and bitter as the pit inside a juicy peach. It doesn’t matter if you’re sprinting for an Olympic medal, a town sign, a trailhead, or the rest stop with the homemade […]

Order this thru Zazzle

0619 – The Pedal Inn

Singletrack: Mountain biking gold (as opposed to doubletrack trash – a jeep like road or trail), a trail just wide enough for one person (wheel) at a time.

Order this thru Zazzle

0503 – Love Bicycle

Love Bicycle Every so often a bird gets up and flies some place that it’s drawn to. I don’t suppose it could tell you why, but it does it anyway. – Ian Hibell

Order this thru Zazzle

0525 – Recycle A Bicycle

Recycle A Bicycle If you ride you know those moments when you have fed yourself into the traffic, felt the hashed-up asphalt rattle in the handlebars, held a lungful of air in a cloud of exhaust. Up ahead there are two parallel buses. With cat’s whiskers, you measure the clearance down a doubtful alley. You […]

Order this thru Zazzle

0265 – Cycle and Cycle

Cycle and Cycle –  Bicycles at Law The advantages? Exercise, no parking problems, gas prices, it’s fun. An automobile is expensive. You have to find a place to park and it’s not fun. So why not ride a bicycle? I recommend it. – Stephen G. Breyer

Order this thru Zazzle

Tags: ,

0102 – Skull and Cog (no bones)

The bicycle is a curious vehicle. Its passenger is its engine. – John Howard

Order this thru Zazzle

0471 – Bike Everyday

Bicycle Everyday I won! I won! I don’t have to go to school anymore. – Eddy Merckx

Order this thru Zazzle

0573 – Work Sucks!

Work Sucks! I’m going riding… Somebody took my bicycle tire, my bicycle seat, and both my pedals. They stole my whole unicycle! – Jarod Kintz

Order this thru Zazzle

0022 – Bike in the Clouds

Bike The journey of life is like a man riding a bicycle. We know he got on the bicycle and started to move. We know that at some point he will stop and get off. We know that if he stops moving and does not get off he will fall off. – William Golding

Order this thru Zazzle

Tags:

0247 – Little Cog

Cyclers see considerable more of this beautiful world than any other class of citizens. A good bicycle, well applied, will cure most ills this flesh is heir to. – Dr. K. K. Doty

Order this thru Zazzle

0267 – Cycle Cycle

Cycle Cycle Work to eat. Eat to live. Live to bike. Bike to work. – Unknown

Order this thru Zazzle

0209 – Bike Love

Bicycle Love Cats don’t like riding on a bicycle….no matter how much duct tape you use. – Anonymous

Order this thru Zazzle

0005 – Penny Farthing

Education is a continual process, it’s like a bicycle… If you don’t pedal you don’t go forward. – George Weah  

Order this thru Zazzle

0058 – Ride More Drive Less

When I was young, I used to expect Parisians to wear little black berets, to bicycle about with strings of onions around their necks, and to brandish long sticks of bread, just like they used to do in school textbooks. – Craig Brown

Order this thru Zazzle

0283 – Do The Mix Right

Do The Mix Right With the heaps of overly specialized gear — gloves, shoes, and biking jerseys — most cyclists realize that every day on the road is Halloween. Plain and simple, it’s wearing a costume each time out of the gate.…We’re neon signs, stylistically impaired wonders blinding pedestrians and fooling small children into thinking […]

Order this thru Zazzle

0558 – Stop Looking at my Nipples

Stop Looking at my Nipples I want to buy a sports car, because I like riding bicycles. Hold on to my handlebar mustache if you value your life. – Jarod Kintz

Order this thru Zazzle